Posts tagged megan follows
Reign: dirty laundry

Speaking of Anne of Green Gables, here she is as Catherine de Medici, Queen of France, offering daughter-in-law Mary Stuart a few dubious-sounding fertility potions on this stupid (and awesome) show REIGN:

It's no secret that I've never been able to watch Megan Follows in anything other than AoGG, since her performance in that miniseries decades ago is stamped so deeply into my mindgrapes. Obviously as a grownup I understand the separation of church and state, yet on some adolescent level I shall always believe, fervently, that she's off chasing a bunch of carrot-headed children through a muddy cow pasture on Prince Edward Island with Gilbert Blythe. Swoon, as you know. Gilbert Blythe. To thine own heart be true.

However! Since I am also a sucker for a good bad queen, I recently broke my own rule, and to my delight she is so amazingly arch and sly and wicked on this stupid show REIGN that it makes me angry the show is so stupid. Rise to the level of Megan Follows, quasi-historical teen angst soap opera! Every week I exclaim and every week they refuse; she gets better and the show gets stupider. More stupid? It doesn't matter. It is also awesome.

To wit: last night the king's latest conquest fell out his bedroom window whilst engaging with him in some high-risk sexual congress, and then he and the queen tried to scrub this poor lady's bloody remains off the ground right before they wrapped her body up in a bedspread and lugged it through the castle, Mr. Pamuk-style, so they could chuck it out another window in order to make it look like suicide. So as to not incite a war with Bohemia. As one does. Now how could you possibly make that not sound stupid? (And also, let's face it, awesome.) And I haven't even mentioned the priest who was stabbed in the heart with his own crucifix by a half-crazed blonde wood nymph being held under heavy sedation by—who else—Nostradamus. So so stupid! (And awesome.)

So, on behalf of logic, reason, and sense, I would like to apologize to anyone who's even read this far, simply for making you suffer through it, and then I'm going to need one of you to please please please for the love of god start watching this show so you can talk to me about it. Because it's so stupid! AND AWESOME.

Partridge in a pear tree

My final gift for you! I have a legitimate soft spot in my cold dead heart for this miniseries, which alone should prove to you its worth (plus my father loves it). Who among us cannot cheer for a plucky freckled orphan with hair as red as carrots who gets adopted by a crotchety spinster portrayed by Colleen Dewhurst, of all people, the same crafty-eyed sage who brought sense and sensibility to that blind skating classic, Ice Castles (costarring "voice of beast" Robby Benson)? And I can't even begin to talk about Richard Farnsworth, Mr. Earnest Mustache, oh my stars in heaven. Anyway, it'll make you cry, which is all anybody can ask for after spending all these clams on other people.

Recommended for: lonely old crones who live down the street, unless they think the carrots are for soup.

p.s. Merry Christmas, my little gingersnaps!