I BRING YOU MANY GIFTS!

Ooh, capslock! It's like I'm smiling right up in your face before I punch you in the snout.

Illustrate with a favorite picture: 

Is anyone more kickassy than Michael Caine? Not actually a question.

First, this is Marjane Satrapi via Lux Lotus, by way of Bookslut, care of The Guardian:

“I’m a lady.” She likes the sound of lady so much that she repeats it, running it off her tongue with lascivious delight. “I’m a lady.” She likes to mislead people, she says. “It is better not to look like what you are; it is better to look like a bourgeois woman because then all the doors are open for you and then you can just go and make hell. That is much more exciting.”

Then: butterfly colors! Give me the creeps, frankly. Have you seen that film Angels & Insects starring Mark Rylance and a schoolmarmish Kristin Scott Thomas? There is a scene wherein the humble, bumbling naturalist tries to romance his beloved (not DAME KST) by releasing a flock (passel? cluster? ensemble?) of moths in a conservatory, and this poor chick does her damnedest to go with it until they start nesting in her hair and settling all over her beautiful Victorian gown, and by the end it is just about the most horrifying sight you have ever witnessed and you'll want to crawl right under the sofa and die. Lesson: best not to woo with bugs or anything bug-related unless you are also a bug. Although that seems like the kind of tip you shouldn't even have to write down for people.

If like me you are anti-Lepidoptera, pro-puppy: Teddy's at a pool party

Of practical use: What to know about crowdfunding and manufacturing and fulfillment and and hopes and dreams and kissing your money goodbye

Long live the colophon: "Colophons are the ticket out of the imagined world and back to the world of late trains and heating bills."

This blog is why blogs exist (& whence the CAPSLOCK): SHE IS BUTTERS. I read through the whole thing approx three times a week and I don't even like dessert.

Rest your weary head on Gilbert Blythe. Aw, Gil. Still not over it.

The best advice from Two Bossy Dames: "It’s clothing’s job to look good on your body, not your body’s job to look good in clothing."

The new laughter: "My “haha”s make me look the way I do in party photos: open-mouthed, loud, a little vulgar. Writing “hahaha” makes you look deranged, but, then again, so does laughing."

100% the only thing you need to read about APPLE WATCH: "Apple seemed to say there should only be ten watch faces and we should be thankful for them even though one is Mickey Mouse which is kind of like saying we get 9 faces."

When I grow weary of Manhattan I am moving to Cranberry Street. Naturally I shall rechristen it Cranapple, unless that's trademarked somewhere by a beverage conglomerate, in which case it becomes Crapple. My mind is full of rich ideas.

Not a day goes by: Original Crossword Puzzles by Stephen Sondheim (from New York Magazine's 40th anniversary)

I love this kid. His reaction to donuts is my reaction to Stephen Sondheim.

Last, my personal gift to you: When in doubt about the direction in which your day is heading, MAKE ANOTHER POT OF COFFEE and if necessary stick your head inside it.