Two turtle doves

My fourth gift to you this Christmas season is this Nespresso gizmo, which I gave to myself a couple of weeks ago just to test the waters. (Say, Self, how you like them waters? Self: Mmmmm, like waters for coffee.) On a scale of dollars to doughnuts, this apparatus ranks far above my standard routine (Café Bustelo instant with a splash of skim milk—easy execution, industrial flavor) and right on par with George Clooney. Actually the only thing better than this coffee maker would be George Clooney knocking on the front door and offering to make the coffee, naked, while reciting Sonnets from the Portuguese, right before he cleans out the refrigerator.

Outlook: expensive but worth it.