Sample mood

I keep having this nagging feeling that there's something I forgot to do this year, like get married or learn Russian or "understand finance." If I'd hopped the bus instead of the train on some random day in April, I might be ambassador to China by now. Maybe I would've found some secret tunnel to a magical french fry factory inside the trash can if I'd taken out the garbage last Sunday, only I decided to nap instead. My point is I'll never know how many lives I missed while I was busy making other choices or sleeping.

A couple of years ago I was waiting to meet a friend for lunch, and she canceled at the last minute. I was standing in the lobby of her office building when her fax came through, and a second later this guy standing next to me looked up from his phone and said, "Well, my lunch date just canceled." I shrugged in solidarity and we smiled at each other, and then I walked away. That was a mistake, I think. A failure of nerve that could have been a "meet cute" that might have led to a meal and subsequently netted me both a man and a million dollars as a major motion picture starring Emma Stone and Some Guy. Probably Ryan Gosling! Although I would also settle for James McAvoy or TBD. Whatever, even with a million dollars I can't afford to be choosy. (Is this a word? Choosy?)

Ugh, the end of the year always makes me thinky.