This is me cheating, since it’s the Shakespeare sonnet I had to memorize and recite in 12th grade English and I still remember most of it lo these 23 years later, but you wouldn’t know any of that if I had been a smart person and lied. Curse my integrity and strict Victorian morals! But just think of all the parties I'll be invited to once it gets out that I have a pocket full of poems tucked up inside my head.
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! It is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come.
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
— William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116
p.s. Available for parties. Will wear pants.