Four colly birds*

My second gift to you this Christmas season is this pork bun from Momofuku Milk Bar, which opened up the street a couple of months ago. If you’re ever in New York City, I will drag you there by the scruff of your neck and forcibly feed you one of these fuckers. It is simple and perfect, and they just hand it to you in a recyclable to-go container, like it’s a regular thing, like it’s a Big Mac, like you’re not about to step out onto the street and open it and find magic inside. No joke, it might be the single best thing you’ve ever eaten. You’ll probably want to thank me by giving me one of your children, and I’ll have to say no, no, if I take your child I will never be able to afford these pork buns.

*Look it up. It's like my whole life up till now has been a lie.