Five easy steps
Having a small bump removed from the side of your nose by the dermatologist:
1. Needle: pinch pinch.
2. Scalpel: scrape scrape scrape.
3. Let me just cauterize it to stop the bleeding: BURN.
4. Can you feel this?
5. No, but I can smell it.
etc.: I was excited/scared that I would end up with a huge scar on my face, but it just looks like I scratched a mosquito bite. Or popped a zit. At my age! You'd think at least she could've given me a black eye so I could look tough at the bars tonight. Tougher, I mean.