Easiest rice & beans

I'm a huge sucker for cheap, fast meals starring a mélange of salty ingredients—especially when one of them was born into the pork family, of which I consider myself an honorary member (overly formal grammaarrian/non-vegetarian syntaxx alert). 

To wit:

  1. Buy yourself a box of yellow rice. I don't care what kind. Prepare per the directions on the box—this rice won't make itself.
  2. Halfway through the whole rice cooking process, add a (drained) can of black beans to the pot. Unlike the high-maintenance rice, they'll know what to do.
  3. Whilst the rice and beans get cozy, slice and fry up a small chorizo link in a dash or two of olive oil.
  4. In your spare time, chop some Italian parsley and a couple of scallions in accordance with the recent nutritional diktat of the good people @ the New York Times.
  5. When the rice/beans/chorizo seem fully cooked, toss them together in a bowl and artfully arrange the chopped greens on top: they are the satin bedsheets to the Marilyn Monroe of your savory main dish.
  6. Stir in a few chunks of creamy delicious goat cheese.
  7. Smother all of the above in Cholula Hot Sauce. Keep going keep going keep going stop.
  8. EAT, you crazy bastards.
  9. p.s. The next time I whip this up I'll probably add some stupid spinach. Adulthood is the worst.