Dream house: something wicked

Whenever I see one of these stately old English manors I always think to myself, Well, I would just murder somebody there. That's not the dream, of course, but I'm positive it would happen. I would be so focused on ruffling feathers in order to prove my innate and independent-minded American-ness that I would inevitably carry things too far and oops! shove some poor unsuspecting footman into a fireplace. Maybe not, though, we'll see: anticipation is nine-tenths of the law!