1. True story: last Thursday my dog was scheduled to be neutered, only he poked me in the eye instead and scratched my cornea, so he wound up boarding with his trainer and I wound up in the emergency room. He spent two days playing with friends and I spent two days on the sofa in the dark listening to Friends on TV. Thankfully I also had a friend who drove me from town to town in search of prescription eyedrops and another who brought me a homemade dinner.
2. According to the ER doctor, the cornea is the fastest-growing tissue in the body, which was nice, but while I waited for that miracle to arrive it was like steel wool scraping back and forth across the eyeball for 36 hours straight. No relief, that is. The pain was operatic.
3. Find yourself some friends and a dog who knows how long his legs are is the moral of this story.
4. He gets neutered this Thursday anyway, so hah! Joke’s on him.