3 things for today
1. Back to my pants: I have no idea how to dress anymore. I tried ordering a “curated” box from Stitch Fix that arrived today and it was all horrible; i.e., when I say “flannel” I don’t mean “sexy flannel.” I just mean flannel. When I say I don’t need work clothes, I don’t mean I need wool trousers. I was confused by every single choice. My basic life problem is that it’s impossible to parlay “campfire lazy” into a presentable daily wardrobe that doesn’t make me look like a 65-year-old pre-teen boy. If you know what I mean.
2. Happy Friday, as they say. I used to wish people “Happy Monday” on Monday morning conference calls but nobody seemed happy to hear it. I caught on eventually but I’m still aggressively chipper on most calls, regardless of the day or who’s happy about it. Partly it’s because I work from home and am glad to talk to other people and partly it’s because I have no patience for long weird pauses where everybody waits for somebody else to talk. I usually barge right in with a stupid comment or laugh inappropriately. I’m surprised I’m still employed sometimes.
3. I asked the dog, on our long walk after dinner, if he would run to the store and pick up some ice cream. What’s the point of keeping you around all the time if you won’t run an errand? I said. I buy all your food, I pick up your poops, I save you from shadows and scooters and lawnmowers. I’ll give you the keys to the car! He didn’t say anything (he doesn’t drive) but he gave me that look, the one that says, This sounds sort of okay but I’m pretty sure it’s a scam. There might be ear drops involved. Needless to say, here I sit, not eating ice cream.