3 things for today

1. Every time I cook a microwave burrito, the burrito splits halfway through cooking and the guts spill all over and sort of fuse themselves to the plate: beans, cheese, modified food starch, natural flavors, microbial enzymes, etc. It’s a real mess. Perhaps you’re thinking, well, try experimenting with a different power-level-to-time ratio or maybe stop making microwave burritos altogether. Sorry, that is not the answer. If you own a microwave I believe it’s incumbent upon you to make burritos. What else is the point? Imagine it’s a mandatory law passed down to you by a court elected by a minority you don’t subscribe to and then you’ll get the idea. Just do it and hang the consequences! Let future generations pay for your new plates! You'll be too dead to care!

2. Tonight on one of the Hart to Harts (Harts to Hart?) the local sheriff was played by Barry Corbin, aka Maurice Minnifield. It was good to see him although he was a villain (spoiler alert) and had a truly inspiring mustache, and a deer head mounted on his office wall, I assume to remind him of previous kills. In this picture I captured at the beginning of the episode, though, it just looks like he has horns, which is effective small-screen foreshadowing (of course Jonathan is wearing a leather vest, they're on vacation!): 

3. This Hallmark spinoff channel plays the same commercials during every break, including one where Dorothy Hamill complains about not being 19 and they mention the word “crepey” no less than 18 thousand times (it’s for a scammy-sounding skincare product called Crepe Erase, made for skin that’s “loose, crinkly, low volume.” Not only does "low volume skin" not sound like a real thing, why on earth would you want an unguent with that name sitting on your bathroom shelf, or anywhere near your house? It's like you're begging to be visited by witches.). Tonight I noticed that they had to blur out all the other brand names from this ice rink shot, probably assuming nobody would notice or care, but I did both. Once a proofreader always a proofreader, dummies. Also, thanks to this period of unemployment, I currently have a lot of time on my hands. Could use a few new hobbies though.

4. As a special bonus, here’s me with a Dorothy Hamill haircut, circa 1979. Good stuff, I know. Nothing screams "1970s!" like rust-colored sateen drapery and oversized, avuncular spectacles on a female child.