3 things for today

1. Oh, Monday. Will we ever stop hating each other?

2. I shopped for slips over the weekend. It did not go well! Spanx and its Spanx-like shapewear hell spawn have swallowed the world—perhaps you've noticed. (Related marketing pitch: have you always wanted to store your kidneys under your clavicle? You're in luck! Try Spanx!) 

3. Sidenote: I enjoy fashion and makeup and many of the accoutrements that accompany traditional western notions of female social display, but just once I'd like to know what it feels like to go through an entire day without thinking about what I need to pluck, suck, push, pull, cover, hide, shorten, lengthen, lighten, darken, reveal, conceal, wrap, weigh, constrain, or contain.

4. Sorry, back to Spanx: what a heinous pile of horseshit to make women believe for even an instant that they need to choose between breathing and simply feeling good in their clothes. There aren't enough curse words in the world to cover how I feel about this specific issue. The same goes for anti-aging products, btw, which as far as I can tell apply exclusively to the ladies. Let the goddamn revolution begin.

5. On the flipside: MY BOY

Addendum: he brought the whole family! As with his previous bookstore appearances, he looks slightly out of his element, a little shrunken and humbled by the event and the praise, yet his speech is assured and completely at ease. He also came dressed as Johnny Cash, if Johnny Cash were an adorable gremlin, which makes me love him even more. (jk, I couldn't possibly love him more.)