How it's going so far

Well I don't know what to tell you. Has it been perfect? Of course not. Only an idiot would expect things to be perfect. Am I an idiot? Sometimes!

There were ants in the bathroom and kitchen. I tolerated them for a week, seeking some sort of detente, I suppose, or a rapprochement, and when that (naturally) failed, I googled "ant problems" and found this blog post and bought some ant baits and I set out those baits and I watched them come running—I had a hard time with this, I admit; not the brutal mass murder aspect (yo, they do not pay rent) but the rampaging swarming frenzied lust these ants had for these baits was a little gross to watch—and after a day or so their numbers dwindled and then disappeared. The baits are still there, a security blanket of sodium tetraborate decahydrate (Borax) (5.40%) and other ingredients (94.60%) [1], remnants of a battle fought and won, and I'm not sure what happens next. No problem is that easy to solve. Their brethren lie dormant, I can feel it, waiting for me to cave, or get bored, or stop paying attention. Which will never ever happen, if only out of spite.

I've seen friends, and family, I have plans and activities and tickets and a large apartment filled with new furniture. Too large! This much is clear. I was seduced by the empty promise of space and thus over-corrected. But game night is on the calendar: I have missed those nights, these people, this particular noise. It's quiet here, that's one of the things I wanted most and one of the things that's hardest to get used to. Funny, yes? And soooo sadly predictable. I sleep at night with a noise machine mimicking the sound of the three fans I couldn't wait to get away from. This is the joke: this is life.

It's been an expensive endeavor, I'm not gonna lie. I'm tired of planning things, of making lists, of recycling boxes, of trying to fill the rooms and being only halfway there. I want an apartment that feels like a home but it isn't yet, so it doesn't. I want to skip forward six months, but that's no more likely than skipping back. I moved 800 miles, why can't I move time??!?

So. It's been three weeks. Here I am.

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