We call Lori “Mrs. Smith” because she’s married to a man called Brian Smith, which sounds obviously fake, and because it makes her angry when women change their last name when they get married (which she didn’t). So: to grind the gears, really. Also she once showed up to a Halloween party dressed as Groucho Marx so I sometimes call her Groucho, just to mix things up.
We call CV “CV” because those are her actual initials (she also refused to change her name when she got married). I call her Tartufo when I need a favor, and I always fax her pictures of the menu when a restaurant serves tartufo.
We call Becky “Stretch,” although I don’t 100% remember why. It had something to do with her pants or the length of her torso.
We used to call Kim and Luke “Chips and Salsa,” back when they were still friends with us and brought chips and salsa to game nights (or games night, to be technical).
Chelsea and Roxie call SarahB “Guv” because she loves British detective series where indomitable ladies give orders. I stopped calling her “Grandma” because she didn’t care for it.
We call Chelsea “Tucc” because she once got to be Stanley Tucci’s seat filler at the Kennedy Center Honors. This was not long after she spurned our offers to call her either “Butter” or “Pickle,” which we attempted at a dinner table in London. She’s the only person I know who got to vet her own nickname.
We call Roxie “Potato Killer” because she enjoys potatoes in any shape or format, and sometimes “Teresa Wright” because she reminds us of Teresa Wright. I hope you know who Teresa Wright is. If not, go to work.
We call Sally “Phyllis” because we like the character of Phyllis in “Follies” better than we like the character of Sally, at least when she’s played by Donna Murphy at Encores!.
We call Ravinia Bob “Ravinia Bob” because his name is Bob and I met him at Ravinia, and when we’re in a hurry we shorten that to RivB.
SarahB calls Kevin “Max” because of “The Sound of Music” and he calls her “Elsa” for the same reason (i.e., they are both jaded and haughty and enjoy dressing up to drink cocktails in the daytime). I call him “Jerry” because we both love “The Awful Truth.”
Some people call me QHD because I like hot dogs and often behave like a queen, and some other people call me Trixie for reasons that have never been explained.
It’s important to have the right friends when you’re a fully grown adult, is what I’m saying. And a blog.