It is unique to you

I’ve attended three medical appointments in the past four days, because I’m a responsible adult who crams all her healthcare into the last two months of the year and schedules whatever she can outside of work hours (i.e., observed holidays, Saturdays, 5pm).

First: I was warned by the dentist about enamel erosion. Turns out there are a million things that can cause good enamel to go bad, and I’m consuming most of them (except for soda). I was lucky to leave with a prescription for a high-fluoride toothpaste and purple Listerine (Total Care), and all my teeth.

Second: I had blood work done at the behest of my new GP, who had no memory of telling me to schedule the appointment and no idea what I was doing in his office only a month after my previous checkup. He seemed so confused, and a little irritated, as if I had purposely wasted his time in order to have somebody stab me in the arm at 8:00 a.m. on a Monday.

Third: an update from my uterus! I had my annual GYNO exam yesterday, plus an endometrial biopsy, which was less fun than it sounds (i.e., a long thin plastic rod is inserted in the uterus to suction out tissue for testing). If anyone* ever offers you this procedure, be aware that it causes “immediate cramping.” You’ll be advised of this in advance but you won’t believe it. How could such a thing be possible? But it’s true. It’s not childbirth or anything but let me grab one of your kidneys from the inside and squeeze and see how much you like it.

*By anyone I mean a trusted licensed professional, not some yahoo in a bowling alley.

Thank you & good night. Please floss.

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