I waited patiently for the end of January to set my 2018 goal, which is to be more patient. I set a delayed timer on it in order to test myself and have thus far—obviously, because I'm writing about it—exceeded all expectations.
It has not escaped my notice that "patience" can also equal "laziness," which is a state of being I long ago absorbed into my body, like a tapeworm. One may therefore assert that the two always run hand in hand, but one would be wrong. While I am indeed very lazy I also have zero patience and a tragically short fuse. So when my wi-fi started acting up in November, I lazily neglected to seek professional help while throwing an enormous tantrum every time the signal dropped out, which happened, on average, three or four times a day. How I didn't have an aneurysm, I'll never know. But through sheer laziness I gave the problem plenty of time to sort itself out, which naturally it failed to do, since a cable company was involved.
Anyway, this story is making no sense to me even as I type it, but the TL;DR is that I finally got off my can, scheduled an appointment, waited two weeks for that fucking appointment, and now I have a brand new modem. Glory be! Praise the [fill in the blank]! Buy American! (Just kidding: it's made in China.) So far it seems much slower, load-time-wise, than the faulty equipment it's replacing, which is where I truly start learning the patience, unless of course I kill somebody.
Bearing the above stated goal of "patience" in mind, I appreciated this piece by Firoozeh Dumas in the NYT this morning, about having surgery in Germany:
The anesthesiologist explained that during surgery and recovery I would be given strong painkillers, but once I got home the pain would not require narcotics. To paraphrase him, he said: “Pain is a part of life. We cannot eliminate it nor do we want to. The pain will guide you. You will know when to rest more; you will know when you are healing. If I give you Vicodin, you will no longer feel the pain, yes, but you will no longer know what your body is telling you. You might overexert yourself because you are no longer feeling the pain signals. All you need is rest. And please be careful with ibuprofen. It’s not good for your kidneys. Only take it if you must. Your body will heal itself with rest.”
Personally I would have been tempted to slug this man, but it's a nice lesson from a German to think about, if you're into that sort of thing.
* I recently found this List of Latin phrases (full), which I shall henceforth use for stupid blog post titles. Sometimes lazy just = smart.