Well that's over. I'm back from my self-imposed blog exile, this vacation without a vacation, this trip that went nowhere. It was a very long month. Both good and bad. Lazy and fruitful. Boring, to be honest. But many things are boring. Nothing wrong with boring (says a boring person).
I deleted my Facebook account and my Flickr account and my Yahoo account—years & decades of detritus, gone with a click. I did not withdraw from society, but I did pull in and away. I had a mid-month existential meltdown thanks to some allergy medication, so I dropped that medication cold turkey, STAT. Pay attention to what affects your mind and your moods, is what I'm saying. Sometimes it's the weather, or the state of the world, and sometimes it's Claritin D. The state of the world didn't help, though.
I thought about deleting this site, but I love the idea of blogs too much to give it up, so I'll start over instead. What a glorious gift, starting over! I think about this New Yorker piece on Snapchat by Matt Buchanan all the time, and in particular the last line of this paragraph:
Snapchat highlights the power of deletion in resisting the gentle totalitarianism of endless sharing. Deletion pokes holes in these records; it is a destabilizing force that calls into question their authority, particularly as complete documentation of a person’s online identity, which Facebook and Twitter increasingly purport to be. It is the only way to be selective, to make choices, when everything is shared. I delete tweets frequently from Twitter, for instance. (I have jokingly called it “snaptweeting.”) There is a general expectation that a tweet will stick around, particularly if it is somehow embedded in the greater Twitter infrastructure, for example when somebody favorites or retweets it. Its disappearance shortly thereafter breaks the system in a tiny way, generating a hairline crack in that model of who I am.
Just because the internet lets you hang your proverbial panties out on the line forever doesn't mean you should. It's important, I think, to lose yourself once in a while, yet nearly impossible to leave old habits behind when they follow you everywhere you go. It's important to remember that nothing is settled or static, not really: such is the secret salve of daily existence.
+ see also: "Hoarding anything is just an opportunity to feel more regret, more times."
And here's a gratuitous appreciation of blogging from Kelly Conaboy at The Hairpin, which I second & third to infinity:
I don’t know how we’re going to continue like this if we all have to be online all day every day. We need good things to read. We need them steadily, from people whose voices we enjoy. Short things. Commentary about a topic the writer has a greater interest in than you do. Something funny. Something very stupid. Not some big, long, boring thing, just a little thing that you read and enjoy.
Or, in the words of my patron saint, Nora Ephron, "You just might want to say hello. I’m here. And by the way. On the other hand. Nevertheless. Did you see this?"
Yes and yes. Although this particular post may have been big, long, and boring, I promise from this day forth to bring you short, steady, very stupid things, straight from my heart to your brains, and to continually ask "did you see this?" just because I like asking.
I hope you read and enjoy.