At the Sunday greenmarket
I snapped this photo whilst standing in line to buy my three tomatoes and three peppers, and it's blurry because my hands were shaking due to unwise overcaffeination, a frequent weekend blunder. I'm able to resist a lot of gustatory temptations, but not this: on weekends I will drink coffee until I lift right off the ground.
Later I was on my way home from the farmacy (CVS) and fell in behind a fellow with an unfortunate walk (you know what I mean: slightly stooped, splay-footed). He was youngish, younger than me, I thought, so this seemed doubly sad. Do you think our walks reflect our ultimate cosmic path in life? I do, sometimes. I felt it about this man, the way his head dipped forward as he lumbered along, As if he had been defeated by something. Yes, I made assumptions based on a physical characteristic, which is a terrible but natural result of being small and petty and prone to constantly drafting narratives about strangers in my head. Relax, there are worse things in life than this.
For example: when I was a toddler I was pigeon-toed, so at night my parents strapped me into braces that were bolted to a board and that's how I slept. This was the 1970s, so I doubt it could be marked down now as bad parenting, although if they were filthy rich believe me I would sue. But everybody was stupid in the 70s. It was the dumbest decade of all time, or at least until the 80s came along. It did cure me, though, and sometimes I think my walk today is a direct result of being stuck to that board as a child, unable to turn this way or that in my bed or crib or whatever, deprived of my earliest free will and struggling to break the fuck out.
LOL just kidding! Not about the board (that part was true!) but about it being responsible for my walk: wide stride, heavy footfalls, everlastingly impatient. I just want to be where I want to be when I want to be there and 99% of the world is always in my way. And the saddest thing is I can't blame that on my parents or even on New York! It's just how I was born.