When I was in my early 30s, I dog-sat for this rich couple that lived in Hinsdale. One time I got a call, a couple hours after they left town, from the husband, who asked me to please go outside and look for the diamond from his wife's wedding ring, which she thought she might have lost in the driveway. I did it, even though it seemed stupid. A single diamond in a sea of suburban asphalt! But it was a wedding ring, after all, and I couldn't blame them for caring about their gems. Plus they were serious people, so I did what I was told. I wandered around out there for a while, gazing at the ground, and I even looked in the garage, but I never found anything. I wonder if they did or, if they didn't, if they ever wondered whether I had.

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On the zodialogical wine scale, according to Laura Jane Drinks Wine, the CAPRICORN is a "Puligny-Montrachet, brut Champagne (substantial, though subdued)." 

Of course. 

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How do you feel about turning 47? my occasional lover, the identical twin of Mark Ruffalo, asks as he dusts behind the TV. I smile wistfully and toss a handful of diamonds into the air, not even caring where they land: Substantial, though subdued.