New best salad

I'll be straight with you: this much salad was too much salad for any one human person. So unless you happen to have a pet goat or some other notorious eater on hand, you would be wise to follow the actual serving size suggestion and not feast like you are, in fact, your own pet goat. I know, who doesn't love a goat and what an amazing party trick, but still. Let my mistakes be your ticket to heaven's spaceship or [fill in the promised land of your choosing], etc., etc., ad infinitum, the end.