Why is everything so heavy?

My latest greatest pet peeve is painfully earnest Twitter bios, especially those that come right out and state “I love to laugh.” What the fuck, who doesn’t love to laugh? Strom Thurmond? It’s like saying “I smell with my nose” or “I'd rather not be run over by an ambulance while crossing the street with a 12-pack of eggs and this toddler.” But I did find one today that just said “I hate my upstairs neighbor,” and I loved laughing at that for a long, long time.

p.s. It was a work-from-home snow day! I never even changed out of my jammies.