Stupid memes are one of the reasons I quit Facebook (again), but I'm home sick today and just woke up from my third nap. Also, "33" is one of my very favorite Battlestar Galactica episodes, which would make an infinitely better meme. I'm not in charge of these things, though, so lifted from a recent post by Terry Teachout, here goes:
1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Well this is a bad question right out of the gate, but many handfuls of pistachios. Pistachios are starting to be a problem for me, on the slippery slope/tree nut addiction spectrum. I've been safe up to now because in their native form they take an enormous amount of thumb effort to get to, but Duane Reade recently started selling bags of kernels already shelled, and now I just don't even know what to do.
2. Where was your Facebook profile picture taken? Does not compute.
3. Can you play Guitar Hero? No thank you.
4. Name someone who made you laugh today. Margaret H. Willison with this tweet.
5. How late did you stay up last night, and why? I was in bed by 8:30, reading Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist, and was asleep by 9:15. Yesterday was an all-day meeting of the brunch of the month club and let’s just say I should have said no to the beer flight at Paulaner, which came after brunch at Russ & Daughters Café but before the bottle of Magner’s at d.b.a. and the divine Frenchie burger at DBGB. So basically I fell asleep early because the day was so awesome, kind of like being a kid when you're out racing the mean streets on your cool bike with your friends all day and you pull up the driveway just in time for dinner and are so wiped out you have to go to bed before the sun is even finished setting.
6. If you could move somewhere else, would you? Chicago is right there waiting for me.
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? What a bold, out of left field question!
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? My dear SarahB.
9. Do you believe exes can be friends? If they have to.
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? No.
11. When was the last time you cried really hard? I generally enjoy a good cathartic cry in the bathtub at about 7:30 on Sunday nights. It’s a time/place of reflection and general life assessment that tends to make me melancholy, since I know that 10 years ago (or 15) I would have been doing the exact same thing at the exact same time of night while wondering where I would be in 10 or 15 years and all I can think is why don't I have a bigger bathtub by now. But last night, as I mentioned, I was way too tired to cry.
12. Who took your profile picture? Does not compute.
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? My cousin’s daughter Lily and my father running in the Langlade Springs Country Possum Chase, which makes me cry for a whole different set of reasons.
14. Was yesterday better than today? Yes. Today I woke up with a stuffy nose and a sore throat and have been sniffling on the sofa.
15. Can you live a day without TV? Indeed, and frequently do, although I will never not love television or be one of those people who claim television is the downfall of America. America is falling down for a lot of reasons and television is probably only one of them.
16. Are you upset about anything? I'm not wild about this sore throat.
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Was this questionnaire written by a Facebook algorithm?
18. Are you a bad influence? Jesus Christ I hope so.
19. Night out or night in? Red light! Red light! HOMEBODY ALERT.
20. What items could you not go without during the day? Lately a pair of headphones and some ugly walking shoes, two things that make living here palatable.
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My father.
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? My inbox is empty, fools.
23. How do you feel about your life right now? Ambivalent.
24. Do you hate someone? Intermittently, yes.
25. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find? Does not compute.
26. Could you pass a drug test right now? What a bold, out of left field question secretly designed to get me to incriminate myself to the world wide web!
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Yes, and they said it kind of snotty, too.
28. What song is stuck in your head? Oh hey, you're welcome!
29. Someone knocks on your door at two a.m. Who do you want it to be? Is this like that short story “The Monkey’s Paw”? Am I supposed to say someone I love who’s now dead? I don’t understand the question, I guess, since no way in hell do I answer the door at two o’ clock in the morning.
30. Want to have grandchildren by the time you’re fifty? What a bold, out of left field question!
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow. Work and run.
32. Do you think too much or too little? Always too much. Always always.
33. Do you smile a lot? Always too much. Always always.
p.s. Have fun out there! Take condoms!