Oh dear. From something called The Elephant Bar:
Capricorn is reserved, prudent, uses strategy instead of force, seeks security, is acquisitive, disciplined, determined, and quick to seize opportunity.
Symbol: The goat: a surefooted animal who is able to ascend the heights by taking advantage of every foothold. The goat butts its way through obstructions.
Dominant keyword: I USE.
I don't believe any of those first things are true, but I certainly am a user! So this is nothing but good news, because one year from today I will turn 40. FORTY YEARS OLD! And what I want more than anything is to spend that birthday with my friends. Which means that you have one year—365 DAYS!—to save your pennies for a trip to New York City. (It's okay, your husbands are not invited, so that will automatically save you some jingle.) Also, we will actually celebrate on a Saturday so you won't have to miss too much work. You only need to worry about how you will get here and where you will stay. The people I've met who I like and the people I have been hoping to meet, you are all invited. So WRITE IT DOWN and MAKE IT HAPPEN, or so help me gods, I will butt my way through you.
Also, if it helps, let's remember that I will very likely never marry, so most of you owe me one anyway. (Goats also don't mind playing dirty.)