Hello, as you may have noticed

+ I can see this park from the train when I go into the office so today I got in my car and tracked it down. ILL may be flat as hell but it is lousy with parks and prairie paths and various wildfowls, the only one of which I care about is ducks. FYI. The morning was foggy and gray and grim but I sat for a while and watched the ducks and in the background I could hear cheering from a girls’ soccer game and a boys’ baseball game and there were old ladies with dogs walking the paths and young couples and joggers, all of us just waiting for the sun to come out.

+ The sun came out! I’ve been taking Vitamin D for a while now but there’s nothing like the real thing. (I say this in April, not August. In August I will want to kill everybody.)

+ “I know that even if you wound the clock all the way back to the first time you can remember being this way — the moment you perceived that when you got things right, you got love, that when you achieved, you felt peace — that there’d probably still be no way to undo it. It’s in your nature.”

+ From Austin Kleon’s Keep Going: “It’s impossible to pay attention to your life if you are hurtling along at lightning speed. When your job is to see things other people don’t, you have to slow down enough that you can actually look.

+ Somebody cared what I think about blogs! Andrea Contino asked me why I keep coming back here.


I always thought that people who spent endless amounts of time drilling into their personal histories are fundamentally unhappy in their lives, and I’m not. I’m ecstatic in my own dark, morbid way and subscribe to a theory of the past that allows the future to unfold: We all did the best we could.
— David Carr
Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/magazine...

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+ I think we can all agree that Adobe makes the most annoying software in the world. I’m not sure it’s debatable. What would be a close (or even distant) second? Botox? Decapitation? For some reason a few months ago they started charging me for a subscription to “Adobe Stock” that I never requested, did not need, never used, and certainly never knew existed, via their Creative Cloud ponzi scheme, a sketchy operation that downloads and installs and updates various unwanted apps on my hard drive ad nauseam, all the damn time. Oh my god I hate it so much. At one point I changed my email address to adobesucks@gmail.com, an admittedly lame silent protest that went unnoticed and unrewarded, since the one thing in life I can’t give up is my subscription to Lightroom. Some ill-employed tech-head genius needs to come up with a decent Lightroom alternative already. Let’s all stop worrying about going viral or “making money” and actually do something good for a change. Goddammit.

+ Today’s the day I found out my favorite taco joint of all time closed down, so I’m in a terrible mood. I have many amazing memories of reading about George Clooney in US magazine at wobbly tables in the back while waiting for friends to show up so we could shove our faces full of beautiful steak tacos and enormous diet sodas. Life will never be the same.

+ I also haven’t slept in approximately 8 thousand years, so I might technically be dead.

+ I have nothing else to report. As my father likes to say when he goes through the drive-thru at McDonald’s, “I’ll take a hamburglar, a small coffee, and that’s all!”

Can you be free tomorrow


The windows were opened today, and it was the best feeling. (It was 51 degrees.) I don’t know what happened, since historically I hate spring so much! But my LORD I need a fresh season.

+ “Do I have to be the best or the worst?”

+ Today also would have been my friend Diana’s 49th birthday so I say please: find yourself a good Danielle Steel novel (p.s. Changes), kick back, and raise a glass to Washington Irving. She was a beautiful soul.

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The doormat & I had a rough winter. As you can see.

+ General Hospital celebrated its 56th anniversary today. I’ve watched a billion old episodes of this show over the last year and it has been a real gift, but this one was as hard to get through as the recent Four Weddings and a Funeral reunion. Not because they’re terrible! (Well, General Hospital is frankly not very good anymore, since Alan Quartermaine remains dead and I have no intention of forgiving anybody for that. What kind of lame-o gets over Alan Quartermaine? I would be so disappointed in myself.) But both are such perfect markers of a very specific time and place in my life, and the people I shared them with, and I watch them now and all I can think is Yes, I want it all back. As always, not in a monkey’s paw kind of way, but I’d like someone to come up with some workable options. My brain is tired of thinking about it.

+ “Instagram was never meant to be what it has become.”

+ Ladies and gentlemen, one Loops to rule them all:

What will you do today?

+ I dropped a whole carton of eggs on the floor this morning, and congratulations to myself for not having a complete meltdown.

+ I’m so happy whenever Ben Wyatt busts out his Letters to Cleo tee

+ One of my favorite New York City meals was steak tacos (surprise) from a restaurant called Cilantro that included a side of rice and black beans and a small container of jalapeño sauce. I ate this meal approximately five times a month for at least eight years. That sauce really fancied up those workaday rice and beans and I miss it so much, so last night I googled “jalapeño sauce” and made this. I had to cheat since I owned a lemon but no lime and parsley but no cilantro, and it tasted nothing like my Cilantro, but it’s amazing nonetheless and I will eat it on anything until the end of time.

+ One of my all-time favorite bloggers is posting under the “Photos” banner on his site, which I am shamefully late to realize but which makes me happier than I can say. I still appreciate the old ways, and familiar voices. I like knowing they’re out there. And he’s inspiring me to pick up my camera and to start looking at things, which hasn’t happened for ages.

+ “it’s okay to slow down. You’re not missing anything.”

Hey, handsome with a stunned smile and gorgeous figure

I went for a walk this morning and in the middle of it my Apple Watch beeped and asked if I wanted to record my outdoor walk. Sure, I said, which seemed easier than figuring out how to turn it off, and I kept on walking. It was cold, the wind blowing hard from the north, but sunny and so quiet. Where do people go on Sunday mornings in the suburbs? Costco, probably. When I got home I told my stupid watch to stop and it asked if I wanted to share my activity or set a goal for the day, an offer I declined with some cursing. I don’t want another goal. I don’t want another challenge. I don’t want the opportunity to fail at a walk. I just want a walk to be…a walk.

Yesterday I went to see “The Beach Bum,” because I needed some sunshine. It’s a loose and gnarly tale of a permanently stoned hippie poet named Moondog, played by (stand back) Matthew McConaughey, and as a conventional, fairly prudish Midwestern bourgeois with a low tolerance for layabouts I was deeply skeptical tho not quite disapproving of his behavior, which included but was not limited to assault, theft, trespassing, operating a motorboat under the influence, and screwing a stranger in the kitchen of a beachside burger shack while his millionaire wife waits for him to show up for their daughter’s wedding. More than anything he was free of expectations for himself, and judgment. I don’t know if it’s a great movie but it was fluid, both surprising and not, a rejection of propriety and property and the very idea of possession, and a brief respite from my own protracted yet tedious midlife crisis. Plus Jimmy Buffett shows up at a yacht party thrown by Snoop Dogg, and not in a parrothead way but in a Yes, this is obviously how Jimmy Buffett would spend his off days kind of way. So it was exactly what I needed and I loved it wholeheartedly and highly recommend it if you have a little bit of patience and are in need of some sunshine, too. The two women sitting next to me hated it very much.

p.s. fax me STAT if you’d like an Apple Watch