It's no secret that I've never been able to watch Megan Follows in anything other than AoGG, since her performance in that miniseries decades ago is stamped so deeply into my mindgrapes. Obviously as a grownup I understand the separation of church and state, yet on some adolescent level I shall always believe, fervently, that she's off chasing a bunch of carrot-headed children through a muddy cow pasture on Prince Edward Island with Gilbert Blythe. Swoon, as you know. Gilbert Blythe. To thine own heart be true.
However! Since I am also a sucker for a good bad queen, I recently broke my own rule, and to my delight she is so amazingly arch and sly and wicked on this stupid show REIGN that it makes me angry the show is so stupid. Rise to the level of Megan Follows, quasi-historical teen angst soap opera! Every week I exclaim and every week they decline; she gets better and the show gets stupider. More stupid? It doesn't matter. It is also awesome.
To wit: last night the king's latest random sexual partner fell out his bedroom window whilst engaging with him in some high-risk sexual congress, and then he and the queen tried to scrub this poor lady's bloody remains off the ground right before they wrapped her body up in a bedspread and lugged it through the castle, Mr. Pamuk-style, so they could chuck it out another window in order to make it look like suicide. So as to not incite a war with Bohemia. As one does. Now how could you possibly make that not sound stupid? (And also, let's face it, awesome.) And I haven't even mentioned the priest who was stabbed in the heart with his own crucifix by a half-crazed blonde wood nymph being held under heavy sedation by—who else—Nostradamus. So so stupid! (And awesome.)
So, on behalf of logic, reason, and sense, I would like to apologize to anyone who's even read this far, simply for making you suffer through it, and then I'm going to need one of you to please please please for the love of god start watching this show so you can talk to me about it. Because it's so stupid! AND AWESOME.